Worry-wort

I am a worrier. I worry about everything. I worry that my weight loss is going to be derailed by a number of things, most recently, I just started on a new birth control pill. And of course the day that I start it I go look at all the reviews online and they freak me out....have I made the wrong choice to switch? Have I chosen the wring ine ti switch to? Will this cause me to gain weight even though I've been on a similar pull for 10 years? Will I become moodier or depressed? How will that have an impact on my surgery in a month, when they saw depression is also normal post op? And now, of course I'm starting to panic but also telling myself everyone is different. What happened to others wont necessarily happen to me.

So I'm trying to focus on the good. I had a good week last week and despite my scale (which has now been taken away by my Jenny consultant) I dropped a pound.

The gym at my place recently got a tv so it's made using the treadmill much more enjoyable. I started interval training last night and it was the first tome I have actually run. It felt good and Im a little sore today. I also got on turbo sculpt in yesterday so Im feeling pretty good about that.

There was a twitter debate last night during the Oscar awards. Many people were making fun of Angelina Jolie for being too thin. What a turn around. People believe its ok to make jokes about "give that woman some cake!" or the "#feedangelina" campaign. Why is it suddenly ok to make fun of thin people but not ok to make fun of fat people? Why is it ok to make fun of people at all? Why cant we let people feel they want to feel, look the way they want to look? I don't pretend to know Angelina or her weight, but at her height of 5'6" she should be about 110-130lbs. But their are more important things to look at...what is her waist to hip ratio. She may well be very happy and healthy and love the way she looks and feels. Isn't that the important thing? That someone is happy and healthy, despite how they look?

Di people think the "give her cake" comments are any less hurtful than is someone had said "take away her cake" about someone that is fat?

Ok enough ranting! So I decided to post a couple pictures of my Jenny food. The first is my Sat morning treat to reward myself for a great week and motivate me to stay on plan, its french toast with extra berries. Second is lunch, meatball stuffed sandwish and carrots.

Minor successes

So on friday I had my 1 month weigh-in and measurements at Jenny Craig. They differences, especially the weight was not as I had hoped, but still better than nothing!

In 4 weeks I've lost 5 lbs and she 9 inches total! So definitely nothing to sneeze at!

Also on Friday i got my blood tests back and it was how i expected. Low iron and vitamin b12 as well as hypothyroid. With the medication I'm on now i should start to feel better and hopefully the weight will start to come off easier too, since the thyroid controls metabolism. I'm glad to finally know what's wrong with me!

After the horrendous week that was last week, I had a great weekend with a friend. We met in Toronto for some shopping, dining, rest, relaxation and to take in the Harry Potter parody, Potted Potter ( super funny, if you have the chance definitely check it out!)

And because she is the awesomest friend in the world, she brought me some presents! I love love love it all and, if she's reading this, I thank her again!

I managed to stay on track with my Jenny food, bringing with me what i needed for snacks and food. When we went out to Jack Astor's on Sat night, i got the Salmon with steamed rice and steamed veggies. When i ordered i asked the waitress to bring me a take home container right with the meal. As soon as i got my food, i halfed the salmon and rice and ordered a side if veggies and put it in the container for lunch the next day. This way i wasn't tempted to just keep picking at it. It worked out really well.

So that's pretty much it for me. These are my lovely presents!

Hard week

So this week has been a really difficult week for me. My grandmother dying and Valentines day and a release party for the game my boyfriend has been working on for years. There were many temptations and many opportunities to screw up my diet. But, I didn't! I remained strong and determined.

Even at the party yesterday I managed to avoid the copious amounts of popcorn, burgers, corn dogs, cotton candy (it was a carnival type theme) AND open bar! That's right, I didn't even have one drink! In addition I left the party early to make sure i got my daily exercise in!

Also, it amazed me, but I actually fit into a dress I've never actually been able to wear (and didn't look half bad)

We'll see how tomorrow goes, its my weigh in and also my 1 month measurements. I get my blood test results tomorrow morning. Im assuming they found something, since she made me come in to speak with her. Probably just low iron or vitamin b 12. I guess we shall see!

Hope everyone is being healthy and happy!

Feeling down

So as I previously said I've been sick the past week so I really didn't think i lost anything. When i got to my Jenny Craig appointment i was pleasantly surprised to find I'd lost another pound.

Unfortunately, I had another blow this weekend when my grandmother died. I managed to stay on program but it's been rough.

So instead of eating that bowl of ice cream i really wanted, I decided to do something for myself, something that didn't require food. I got my hair and nails done. In honor of both Valentine's Day and the Breaking Dawn Part 1 dvd, I choice Spa Ritual's Break of Dawn. Its a really beautiful red polish with Gold shimmer. It didn't take my mind off every thing, but did help for just a little bit.

Today I had my first round of blood test which wasn't as bad as I feared they would be. I guess with my surgery growing closer I should get used to it! Also, I got a cheap little pedometer and for the 3 hours i used it tonight, I recorded 5,000 steps. Not too bad I think. I still think i need a better one though!

Blue

So i've been sick this week which means i've only gotten a few workouts in this week. Which i think means little to no loss this week. I'm sad about it, but i have noticed a change in my body, at the very least. I measured myself yesterday (as part of the Brazil butt lift dvd) and i've a total of 10" since the end of January. My pants fit better, i can see an improvement on my stomach with less fat there.

All that being said, I'm tired of hearing that muscle weighs more than fat blah blah blah...yes, i know. I get that. At what point does the muscle start doing something so the numbers on the scale can go down!? So with that in mind i went to talk to my doctor and she want to send me for some blood tests. Sounds like Saturday morning fun, right? Oh well at least i can start figuring out whats going on.

So anyway, i finally got my Brazil butt lift dvds...wow. I'd read reviews that it was tough but holy crap! I seriously don't think i've sweated more in an he than i fid last night! I had to pause a couple of times but considering this cold, I'm rather impressed i managed to finish it!

Hope everyone out there is staying happy and healthy!

Good day

Hey everyone. Ok so as we all know (unless you were living under a rock) yesterday was the Super Bowl! We don't really need to talk about that (since the Patriots didn't win tears were shed...ok not really but that was one of the most exciting and painful last 5 minutes)

Anyway, I have to say I'm actually very proud of myself! You see yesterday there was no time for work out other than running around after my 3 4 year-old nephews, so I was very nervous about how I was going to do at a Super Bowl party, with all the pizza wings, chips, cheesies and beer. But I must say I did very well! I brought my Jenny food and I ate it at the times when everyone else was eating so I didn't feel left out. I didn't eat one thing that was not on my menu!

Today I did turbo jam's ab and butt work out. Wow. It's not easy! It fun and I liked it a lot though!

I'm feeling pretty good, a little tired but the scale was kind to me this morning, even without the work out yesterday!
I guess there's good and not so good days. It's days like this when I smile and think "I really can do it!" and on those not so good day, I just have to remember that cheesy saying about the sun coming out tomorrow!

Hope everyone is doing well and if you have a plan, I hope you're sticking to it! If you're not...I hope you can pick yourself up and start again! And now there's only 365 more days until I see
my Packers back in the super bowl, where they belong!

Deterants

So what is something that might hold us back from our goals, other than our ownselves not thinking we can do it?  How about anonymous people telling us we cant, reminding of us of our weakness.  

I got this "question" on for formspring today:

u an a freind dresd up as nuns to 'intice' ur fav. band? sonds lik a fun idea. too bad ur two fat too make it look goood. wat wit all ur fat an rolls hangin out. prolly scarred thm...shame...

Now, I'm not going to comment on this person, persay.  But, this is definitely one of those things that makes it difficult to continue on the good path, the right one.  If this was a few months ago, I probably would have believed them and given up and totally screwed up my diet and stopped exercising...BUT, thankfully, I have some really great and really supportive people around me that encouraged me and supported me and reminded me that I can do it.  I am beautiful, even with the extra weight, but that I can get rid of it, if I truly want to. 

 So, a few months ago I probably would have gone and grabbed a cookie and cried, especially since I was already having a "down" day.  Not this time.  I got up and I went swimming.  I did my laps in the pool and I forgot about all the can'ts and won'ts and I just did.  

I won't make that person, that person that only lives to hurt others bother me. Because I'm trying and that's what's important.

A little frustrated

Ok so yesterday was my weigh in at Jenny! Its always a little deceiving because I weigh myself in the morning with no clothes and when you go to Jenny you weigh yourself at night with clothes. Therefore there's too much of a discrepancy between what you when yourself in the morning because you haven't has anything to eat or drink and you're not wearing any clothes, but then when you go to Jenny do your weigh in, you've had all your food for the day and you're wearing your clothes so there's always that little bit of extra in there. Anyway it ended up that I lost .8 pounds. Yeah for me!

Then I get home and drink all my water and I put away my Jenny food and label it for the following week and then I Sit down and have my dinner and then I have all my water and then I do Turbo jam cardio party. And then I get up this morning and I go weigh myself and it turns out I gained .6 of a pound! How does that even happen? I want to say that I gain muscle but I don't see that happening and I don't want that to end up being an excuse as to why I gain weight.

But I can't let that get me down so what am I going to do about it? Im going to get up and go down to the pool and swim and I'm just not even gonna think about it and I'm just gonna keep going.

So...this is me

Ok so hi to anyone who might be taking a peak at this.  How are you doing?

So this is my first post.  The first attempt at trying to document my...journey to a healthier me.   I'm writing this to try and keep myself motivated, to keep myself going.  I've tried many times to loose weight and I always end up giving up...not this time, I have to keep myself going!

So what is it you're going to see here?  Well I'm currently on week 2 of Jenny Craig, so I'm sure I'll be posting my trials and tribulations, successes and failures (hopefully more successes...), my quest to exercise and find something I enjoy that I don't get tired of in 2 weeks, and things that make me happy and that motivate me.  I'm not gonna lie, I might have rants and complain sometimes but I'll try very hard to keep the negatives to a minimum!  No one likes a constant complainer, right? Right!

Ok, so before I start with all that stuff....

This is me...

This was taken back in August 2011 in Las Vegas (a friend and I dressed up in costumes to try and entice our favorite band 100 Monkeys to play one of our favourite songs - I was dressed as a nun - she was a school girl...on Freemont Street...in Las Vegas...yea, tourists were actually taking OUR pictures, that was interesting...anyway...)  This is  me, 160lbs, give or take (at least 30lbs too much). 

Really I'm a simple girl who works hard to play hard.  I love to travel and made it to Texas, New York, Detroit, Ohio, Nevada and California last year.  I love music (especially the aforementioned 100 Monkeys, if you haven't checked them out, please do, they are amazing! You will love them, PROMISE!)

I'm a writer, just finished my first script with one of my best friends last year (if you're a producer give me a call! lol) and when I have the time and energy, which isn't as often as I'd like I, I write fanfiction as well.

What else?  I'm owned by 2 cats, both male, Loki and Scorpio, both of whom I get up for in the morning...mostly because they won't let me not get up.  I am obsessed with nail polish, so you'll definitely be seeing some of my posts about that on here!  When I reach my half way goal is when I get to go and purchase my drool-worthy polish from a-England The Legend collection!  She doesn't have that Collection up yet, but if you want to see you can check out the American Supplier llarowe.  They really are beautiful!

So, people ask me...why now?  Why have I started this now...it's not really now though...I've always struggled with my weight.  Always.  But now...Well I'm coming up on a very big birthday...one that terrifies me.  I've kind of stepped back and looked at my life...like where has it gone?  How can I still be fat?  Something has got to change.  I've wasted so many years.  I'm shy, I have a very difficult time talking to anyone because I'm so self-conscious of the way I look.  It's easier not to talk to anyone, because then you don't have to have that imaginary conversation in your mind...The one where you wonder what they're thinking, because you know you're fat, so they know it too.  

So, yeah, big birthday.  I have a cruise in June with 3 of the most gorgeous ladies to the Caribbean with the New Kids on the Block, whom I have loved since I was 6 years old!  Let's face it, I don't wanna walk into that meet and greet and be wondering what Mr. Fitness Danny Wood thinks about the whale-that-is-me lol.  

Basically...I want to be me.  I want to feel better in my own skin.  So, that's why I'm doing this. That and I'm going to have some surgery in April, so less weight on anesthetic is never a bad thing, right!?

So...what is it that I'm doing, anyway?

As I said I'm on Jenny Craig, week 2, with my great consultant Lorraine.  So far so good.  I go for weigh-in number 2 tomorrow.  Last one I was down 2lbs in my first week.

So What about the dreaded "e" word?  Well I have a pool downstairs, so I'm swimming 3 times a week.  And the other days I'm doing the Turbo Jam/Sculpt with Chalene Johnson the other 3 days (I give myself one day off).  I have just ordered the Brazil Booty Lift dvd, so that should be here next week, looking forward to starting that (although I've heard its harder than Intensity, so I'm getting a little nervous lol).  See...I'm not a gym person.  I like things that are fun, like dancing.  I need more than just weights!

So...I guess that's me...in a nut shell.  

What about you?  Are you starting something?  Thinking of starting something?  Wanna get healthier? We can do it together!